Complicated
by Monkey
Summary: now up in it's entirety. enjoy. h/h angst/romance and stuff. nothing that was easy to write for me. took a while. please r/e/r (read/enjoy/review)
1. Complicating Things

A/n- um ok short and sweet. Look I'm not appreciating the non-feedback I'm getting. I'm not going to press for reviews, but just know that this will be one of the last things I will be posting. I plan I putting up the entirety of this, which is two chapters, and then not posting until I think someone wants to, cuz I really suspect no one wants me posting. Basic run down, it's not my normal work. Much more mature in my opinion and there is no lyrics inside the story. Soon enough I plan on writing something with a plot until then…well you might never see my stuff again huh? All right this is H/H and I'm very proud. It took five months to complete (because I'm a slacker and I've also been working on another story in the bsb genre) and I think it turned out well cuz it's not all mush. Enjoy.

Disclaimer- not mine. Not the characters or the brief song that helps back up the story. This is not a song fic, I just got the idea to use the song at the beginning of chapters to help, but anything you recognise is not mine. All that I take claim to, is the plot and amount of time put into this story.

Complicated

I'm so scared that the way that I feel

Is written all over my face

When you walk into the room

I wanna find a hiding place

We used to laugh we used to hug

The way that old friends do 

But now a smile and a touch of your hand

Just makes me come unglued

It's such a contradiction

Should I lie or tell the truth

Is it fact or fiction

Oh the way I feel for you

It's so complicated

~Complicated, by Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Room With A View

Hermione sat awake on her bad, forcing confusing thought out of her head trying to sleep. There was a big Transfiguration exam the next day, and she needed her sleep for it. But all she could think about was a pair of emerald eyes, and lightning bolt scar, a mop of hair, and dazzling smile, and the boy behind it.

These thoughts of Harry had been reoccurring since longer than she could remember. Hermione had been fighting with herself and her feeling for quite awhile, trying to banish romantic fantasies of Harry with his lips pressed against hers, out of her normally reasonable mind. She knew he would never return her feelings, but the way he acted around her, but there was no way of shaking them off.

Hermione lied down, pulling the covers up around her neck, imagining Harry's arms around her. She shook her head, and closed her eyes, mentally berating herself for her newfound imagination.

~~~

            Harry sat at the Gryffindor table in the middle of his two best friends. Ron was turned away from him talking with Seamus and Dean about something, and Hermione was just quiet. She was staring at her food, poling it with her silverware occasionally stuffing a little in her mouth and slowly chewing it. 

            "Hermione?" Harry said, trying to get a reaction out of her. He got more than he bargained for when she jumped in her seat and nearly choked on the bit of toast she was eating. She swallowed hard and turned towards him.

            "Yeah, Harry?" she responded, shakily. 

"Are you okay? You just seem more…quiet than you normally are…" He asked concern filling his voice. 

"Yeah…" she said flushing and returning her gaze to her food, "I'm just a little concerned about the test today. I'm running the material through my head that's all."

            Harry gave her a sideways look, then placed a comforting hand on her back, "Well you don't have to worry about that, you'll do fine, you always do. Now Ron and I on the other hand…" Harry grinned.

            Hermione laughed and blushed some more, thanking him for the encouraging words. She shoved her plate away and excused herself to go get her bag and review her notes again.

            Ron, now done with both his conversation and food rolled his eyes in Hermione's direction, but both boys got up and followed suit. 

~~~

            Hermione was sitting at her desk in McGonagall's classroom, silently watching the other students take the test. Harry had been right, there had been nothing to worry about, but she was glad she had worked so hard on it. This was the type of thing that would sow up on exams. She silently drummed the pads of her fingers on the nearly empty desktop, which only held her slowly drying quill on it. 

            Hermione stole a quick look at Harry. He was slumped over his test, his brow furrowed (a/n- don't you dare Rachel!) in concentration. Hermione smiled to herself and looked away. Picking up her quill, she twirled in it between her fingers, thinking about what she was going to do about Harry, if she was going to tell him or if she would wait until he picked up.

~~~

            "That test was brutal," Ron complained as he walked away from the classroom.

            "NO it wasn't Ron. You just didn't study hard enough," Hermione scolded.

            Harry just walked along uncharacteristically quiet. 

            "Harry what's wrong with you?" Ron asked, punching his shoulder to get his attention.

            "Oh yeah, I'm fine," Harry said, "I just didn't want to get scolded by the brain here, far having a hard time on the test."

            Hermione have him the same look she gave Ron, but smiled just the same.

            They reached the common room, and said the password, walking inside, hearing it swing shut behind them.

            They walked over to a table and pulled up three chairs, throwing their bags on top of the table, and settling down in the chairs. They reached forward and removed their homework from their bags, inked their quills and stared down at their DADA assignment.

Ron stared down at the piece of clank parchment lying in front of him, then glanced over at his notebook with the assignment written boldly, and groaned.

            "An eighteen inch essay on how to defend yourself or possibly slay a Chimaera? Is he insane?" Ron complained.

            'He' was a reference to Professor Alcott (a/n- THANKS MAC!), their new DADA teacher who was obsessive with having them write essays on the impossible.

            "Oh quite your whining Ron, it's not that hard. See?" Hermione stated, unrolling a parchment almost completely filled, "I'm nearly half done!"

            The boys gaped at her.

            "Half?!" Harry gawked, "That has to be at least a foot"

            "So?" Hermione countered, "I haven't even begun to describe basic methods of simple wounding."

            The boys just rolled their eyes in her direction and then set upon their work. For awhile nothing was said between the three, but soon enough, Hermione set down her quill, rubbed her hands and measured her essay, which topped off at thirty-two inches. She then took to hovering over Harry and Ron, pointing out important points in their open books and tutting when they tried to make their writing bigger to take up more space. 

            But even homework couldn't stop Hermione from noticing how cute Harry looked while he was concentrating on his work. How his eyes lit up when he found something useful. Hermione sighed and then shook her head. Harry looked up at her, confused, which brought their faces closer than they were used to.

            Hermione flushed and averted her eyes, turning away to help Ron. Harry also turned back to his work, but he couldn't focus on it. He couldn't stop think about how he was being so obvious about his feelings for Hermione. He had actually been considering kissing her. He was getting out of hand. He had to tell her soon…

A/n- Wow that took all of ten minutes. Sorry about those two inserted author notes in there I couldn't help it. And please stop laughing Rachel, his frow did NOT burrow! It Furrowed! So shut up I got it right this time, not my fault that you rub off on me. Well now that I'm done berating my best friend. Please tell me what you thought. The next part of this should be up soon!


	2. And Finding The Solution

A/n- alright here we go. WHOO HOO! Let me just say thank you for the reviews I've gotten so far. Made me want to put this up. Um this is the ending of this. Much longer than the first part, and it kinda goes more in depth into what they feel and they finally get together. So here we go

Disclaimer- the plot's mine. Anything you recognise once again is not. And yes I'm the one responsible for the changing of this verse here. So here we go

(Un)Complicated

Just when I think I'm under control

Think I finally got a grip

Another friend tells me that

My name is always on your lips

They say I'm more than just a friend

They say I must be blind

But I'll admit that I've seen you watch me

From the corner of your eye

Oh it's so confusing yea I wish you'd just confess

But think of what I'd be losing

If you answer wasn't yes

Oh it's so complicated

I hate it cause I've waited

So long for someone like you  
What do I do oh do I say it

Should I tell you how I feel

I want you to know

But then again I don't

It's so complicated.

~Complicated, by Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Room With a View

            Later that night, Hermione sat in her form right before bed, trying her hardest to block out Parvati and Lavender's endless gossip. Suddenly the two girls grew quiet, and she looked up to see what was wrong, finding herself facing two questioning looks. 

            "What?" she said defensively.

            "Hermione, honestly, haven't you been listening? We asked who you like, and don't say no one, because we know you do."

            "Well…no I haven't been listening, gossiping isn't my style, and as for who I like, I'm not telling, no one knows and I intend to keep I that way."

            Lavender turned to Parvati, ""Well so much for a confession. But I can still tell she likes Harry, it's so obvious, just look at her," she said.

            The two girls turned back to Hermione, whose jaw had dropped.

            "How…how could you tell?" she stuttered.

            "Ah ha. Knew we could get it out of you," Parvati said, "And as for knowing, it's all over your face, how could we not know?"

            Hermione suddenly felt like an open book. So anyone walking by could read whatever they wanted, her deepest secrets and desires, anything. And she suddenly wondered how many people read that far into her, who knew what?

            "But you know what I hear from Seamus," Parvati said, now turned back to Lavender, who was listening intently, "That Harry talks non-stop about her," and she nodded in Hermione's direction.

            If it was possible, Hermione's mount fell open even further and she shut her book, suddenly very interested in the conversation.

            "Sounds like someone else has a crush," Lavender said grinning.

            Hermione faked a yawn as their gossip turned to their favourite featured of the Gryffindor boys. She stood up from the mini-desk she had been sitting at and trudged over to her bed. She turned to the girl and loudly proclaimed:

            "I'm tired, so I'm going to turn in. Good night."

            The girls barely acknowledged her with a good night as she drew the curtains closed around her four-poster, and laid down beaming.

            She he talked about her? Well maybe he liked her too, and if so, there was another way to go about this. And she would take that way, starting in the morning.

************************

            Breakfast had already begun, when Hermione raced in, thoroughly embarrassed. She sank into her seat, next to Harry, and rested her head in her hands briefly before pitting some food on her plate.

            Harry stared at her, absolutely bewildered at her tardiness, it was so unlike her. And on top of all that, she looked even more beautiful than ever. Her hair seemed to have been brushed more, because it just fell in small waves around her face, which itself seemed to shimmer. But Harry couldn't really judge this, because he wasn't exactly impartial.

            "Hermione," he said, waking her from her reverie, "Why are you so late?"

            She looked at him, wearing a glossy smile, "I slept in, and it took me longer than I thought to get ready."

            "Well you don't look it," Harry responded, then mentally kicked himself. This was not the time to start letting his emotions get control of him.

            But unlike what he expected, Hermione had blushed and extended her smile with lit up eyes.

            Harry smiled too, and reached past her as she turned back to her plate to retrieve the milk. Hermione seized to opportunity and reached for the jug at the same time, and their hands joined on the handle.

            Hanging on for a bit longer than one might think, Harry looked at Hermione and laughed. She, although quite happy with the feeling of his hand on hers, pulled away and shyly smiled. 

            "Here you go," Harry said and poured the milk into her goblet, and then turned to fill his.

            "Thank you kind sir," Hermione laughed, taking a sip, quite satisfied with what just happened. This was going a lot better than she had thought.

***********************

            Professor Flitwick waved his hand as a dismissal for the sixth year Gryffindor Charm's class. Hermione began to pack away her quill and parchment in her bag, deciding that it was time for step two of her 'Get-Harry's-Attention' Plan. 

            The students all stood up and filed out of the room, and Hermione grabbed up her nag and feel in step behind Ron. They walked out of class and then fell into a straight line, Hermione between Harry and Ron.

Hermione grinned to herself as she shifted her bag to her left shoulder, closer to Harry. They continued down the hall, Hermione waiting the whole time for the right moment. 

As they rounded a corner, Harry walked too closely and slammed into Hermione's shoulder. Hermione once again took advantage of the moment and stumbled sideways dropping her bag in the process.

            Harry reached out and steadied her, and she let a small grin play about her lips. When he was sure she was all right, he bent down and scooped up her books, refusing her help. 

            As Hermione and Ron stood by watching Harry's cordial efforts, Ron slowly began to realise that Harry's liking Hermione might not be one sided. Harry stood up, books in hand, and Hermione reached out to take them back, but Harry shook his head, and put the books in her bag, then took both of their bags in one hand as they continued down the hall.

            Both Harry and Hermione were smiling, Harry deciding that it wouldn't be long now.

***********************

            A few mornings later, Hermione sat at breakfast letting the week's progress run through her head. So far she had taken every chance she could to get Harry to accidentally touch her or get his attention somehow. And she had started to notice that it seemed as if he was doing it too. She smiled to herself, staring off at the clouds dancing across the blue sky of the enchanted ceiling, and brought her goblet to her lips. She took a small sip and lowered the glass to be hanging in her hand, a forearm's length above the table, that's when someone placed a hand on her shoulder, snapping her from her reverie. She jumped in surprise, and as a result, the goblet fell from her hand.

            The goblet shattered upon impact with the table, and the pumpkin juice she had been drinking splattered all over her and those around her, including Harry who had been the person behind her, now standing wide-eyes and unblinking.

            "Here let me help you with that," Harry said, leaning over and gathering the glass shards in one hand. It didn't take him long to notice how reserved Hermione was, her head hung, eyes closed.

            Harry placed a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder, and she looked up at the glass in his hand.

            "Herm…what's wrong?"

            Hermione looked down again and sighed.

            "I'm stupid Harry. That was a stupid reaction, that now you're cleaning up for me. Gosh Harry. I'm sorry."

            Harry set himself down into the chair next to her and looked intently into her eyes.

            "It's not your fault, it happens to everyone, just forget about it 'Mione," Harry said and smiled at her.

            Hermione managed a smile back, and turned back to her breakfast, Harry adjusting himself in his chair to join her.

************************

            Hermione hurried out of her last class of the day, avoiding Harry and Ron, almost near tears.

            Today had turned out to be one of the worst days of her life. First was the incident with the drink this morning, and then it had all gone downhill.

            First she had had to go back to her dorm to retrieve her nag, and when she had finally found it, she had been late to Charms, where she promptly lost five points from Gryffindor. Above it all, since she was the last one there, she had to sit on the old stool, which, the moment she sat on it, feel apart and she fell hard bruising her tail bone. 

            Things had only gotten worse from then on, her spilling ink and constantly dropping things. It was like Neville's spirit possessed her body. 

            Finally the worst had come when they ended the day with Double Potions. Not only had Hermione been nearly late, having somehow taken a wrong turn sending her up towards Divination and not down to Potions, but she had forgotten her week-long essay assignment. This mistake lost her twenty house points, and any marks she might have gotten from her hard work. 

            Now all she wanted to do was go sit somewhere and try to forget about the day's happenings, alone.

            "Hermione?" she heard Ron call after her.

            "'Mione what's wrong?" Harry echoed, rushing to catch up as Hermione quickened her pace, head down.

            In her rush to get away, Hermione completely forgot about the things around her, and because of her lack of attention, she crashed straight into a wall as she turned a corner. She flew backwards from her fast impact, and fell to the floor, clutching at her face.

She heard Harry and Ron's footsteps hurry over to her, and she pulled herself up, and brushed off their attempts to help her.

            Grabbing her bag off of the ground, she fled the hallway heading towards the Entrance Hall. This was not how today was supposed to go, and it was very upsetting, and as she headed out to the Quidditch pitch anger towards herself built up inside her. Finally she reached her destination, where she promptly climbed into the stands, threw herself over a bench, and cried out her frustration. 

***********************

            Harry watched Hermione flee the hallway and instantly excused himself from Ron and started after her.

            She hadn't been herself today, forgetting things, and showing up late. He was really worried about her. He turned the corner that she had disappeared behind shortly before. It was obvious that she was headed outside, because the common room in the other direction. Or at least he thought it was. After all his years at Hogwarts, it still seemed like the hallways changed. Which they did, making younger people always get lost.

            After a few more turns in the corridors, he was in the entrance hall, and racing towards the doors, pushing them open and stepping outside. Far in the distance, Harry saw a black clad figure racing and stumbling towards the Quidditch Pitch. Taking leave of and sense he had, Harry promptly took off running towards the pitch. 

            When he finally reached the pitch, he was short of breath, but he barely noticed this, as he walked through the player's entrance and stood on the soft grass. He heard racking sobs from behind him, and spun around on his heels to find Hermione sprawled face down in the stands, shaking as she emitted each heart-wrenching sob.

            "Hermione?" he questioned, approaching the stands.

            Her body stiffened in response to his voice and she briefly looked up before burying her head back in her arms and shouting, "Go away," which came out muffled.

            But Harry didn't even hesitate as he ascended the stairs, up towards where Hermione lay. He sat down on the bench below her, and then reached out and placed a hand on her back as a gesture of comfort.

            Hermione stiffened again and then reluctantly looked up into his sympathetic eyes.

            "What's wrong, Hermione?" he softly prodded.

            "Everything," she tearfully replied.

            "How so?" Harry asked, running his hand over her back.

            "Well, today went so wrong. I mean how many days can you day that for forgot homework, was late, fell, and spilled everything possible on just one day? Nothing went right today," she said with a sob.

            Harry slid up into her bench, and pulled her into his arms, while she reluctantly fell into his embrace, crying into his shoulder.

            "Hermione, trust me, it's all right. Everyone has bad days. Maybe this is just all your bad days in one, and you'll never have another, because, well, you're perfect."

            Hermione looked up, startled by his comment, and stared into his nearby eyes, "You think I'm perfect?"

            Harry let out a surprised chuckle, "Yes I do Hermione, because you are. You're brilliant, sweet, funny, kind, and beautiful. Hermione, you are perfect."

            Hermione just continued staring wide-eyed at him while he smiled, noticing that her choking sobs had stopped. Harry then slowly leaned down, closing the small distance between them and placed his lips on hers.

            It took a moment for Hermione to comprehend what was happening, and then she leaned into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck, while his embraced her back.

            After a moment of bliss, Harry pulled away and looked at Hermione's shocked, but pleased smiling face.

            "Like I said, you're perfect 'Mione. Will you—?"

            Harry never got to finish his statement as Hermione found her courage and leaned up kissing him again.

            "Yes." Hermione said as he pulled away and Harry pulled her into a tight hug.

            And as the two continued to share their bottled up romantic feeling for each other, Hermione realised that maybe, love wasn't so complicated after all.

A/n- thank God that's it. I finally have this story off my shoulders. Please review tell me what you thought. I'd like to thank: Utter Inzanity, Linz, hyperwhich, LoneWolf, C Jazz, He-who-must-not-be-named, and pizzi who have reviewed so far. A very special thanks to my best friend Rachel, who put up with my slacking on this story and Kristin who keeps making me write my bsb story. Trust me, now that this is done Kristin, Nick and Kevin here I come! Thank you for reading my story and riding my insanity cycle please drop by again. ~Megs~   


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